Now, here’s the thing! Why would anyone break into the Church Office on a Sunday night? A bit like the chicken question! Easy! To get the collection from Sunday Services! Nae luck then, since we don’t leave large amounts of cash in the office, and if we did, they would be in a safe! (Large amounts from our Sunday collections are rarer than hen’s teeth anyway!) But you can cause considerable damage, and leave a helluva mess if you are looking for the non-existent collection! That’s what’s happened!

A tremendous effort! Take grills off windows, come through the kitchen, grab a chair, go back out the kitchen window, cos you need the chair to shut up the alarm box and you can’t reach without a chair, come back through the kitchen window, cut a hole big enough in the plaster boarding to tunnel into office, gemmy all the filing cabinets, search through all drawers, receptacles, cash boxes, fail to find the laptop, (aye – that fooled you), damage a chair to make a bigger gemmy, a couple of hundred quid from the Families United cabinet, (for families of drug misusers), and about £50 petty cash, and you are offski! Probably about £125 an hour. Not bad eh? You expected more! So do the guys who clean out our high gutters!

Meanwhile the RW is amazed that they didn't take the amazing bottle of red which was on the filing cabinet. Maybe they preferred white?